Okay, this is just too good. Apparently, to stop being gay, you have to beat a pillow with a racket saying, "Mom! Mom! Why! Did! You! Do! This! To! Me?!" and cuddle another man. What? It apparently restores a father-son relationship. Now, it's not cuddling another older man (how very greek). It's just cuddling another man.
Now, as far as I remember, most men, 'mo or breeder, don't exactly cuddle their fathers after about 2. But as adults? I thought it was enjoying cuddling men that made me gay.
I mean, surely if it's working and the guy's going straight, as soon as he started hugging the other guy, they'd both leap apart, yelling "Dude! That's like totally not cool! You know I'm not gay, man! Let's go to Hooters and pick up chicks, bro, and down some brewskies!"
(Bonus to our commentators: is that how straight people actually talk?)