Tuesday, November 29, 2005

I dream of Olivia

I had a vivid dream featuring Olivia Chow last night. Like all dreams, I have to get it down in print, or I'll forget it. And we can't have that, can we? Or perhaps, at the end of the story, we'll wish we can. Anyway, we were walking down Strachan Ave near my place (she is running in my riding). She had just announced her candidacy, but was upset that none of her campaign signs had arrived yet. I said "Don't worry Olivia, you don't really need them until the last three weeks of the campaign, when it will really matter". She was still annoyed though, so I told her "Look, I understand how you feel, it's sort of like a kid's first day of school, all excited and ready to go, but their parent say to them, 'wait a month and then we'll buy you new clothes and supplies". She was consoled by this, and thanked me. It was raining, I was wet, and I had to run across the street to get home. She called out as I ran "Wait, what is your name?"So I told her, and then said "I helped Jack with his leadership campaign, I'd love to work on yours. Who can I contact to help out?" and she gave me a card, with her name on it. She told me "I want you to be my campaign manager"and shocked, flattered, I thought "Oh my God!". But then I realized she had said "Pen manager". A little disappointed, but still flattered, I thought to myself "Wow, she wants me to pen her speeches!". We parted ways, and then I realized, once again that I was incorrect. She did not want me to manage her campaign, or pen her speeches. She wanted me to manage her campaign pens. What the hell? Finally, another realization struck me. I had misheard her again. What she wanted was for me to manage her PINS. Doh. But it was still cool. In from the rain, I found myself around a table with Paul Martin and his advisers, and I was pretending to care about their situation, and give them advice. And Stephen Harper came up and handed us his platform, and it stated that if the people elected them to government, they would only govern for a year, doing only what the people wanted them to act on, like democratic reform and accountability, national defence, and would leave healthcare and social issues alone. After getting this done, they would call an election and let the people judge them and see if they had been as scary as everybody had feared. I totally agreed with his strategy, and told him he was going to win the election with that proposal, all of this in front of Paul. I thought "Gee, this is really going to hurt Paul's feelings if I find Harper's proposal so reasonable and tell him so in front of his face". But then I woke up. Poor Paul. I hope he doesn't hold grudges.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005


I have voted Liberal, Progressive Conservative and NDP. I have worked on NDP campaigns, shook hands with Liberal Prime Ministers, and on one humourous occasion, did to a rather attractive Conservative strategist what their party did to Ontario. I happen to think Jack Layton is great guy if only Canadians took the time to get to know him, think Paul Martin isn't such a great guy, if only Canadians took the time to get to know him, and really have no opinion on Stephen Harper either way (other than that he looks horrible in leather), but happen to think that the best thing for the country right now would be a Tory minority. I figure it's better to have a Tory minority now in order to clean things up and send the Liberals to the wilderness for rejuvenation, than to suffer another Liberal minority of fools, and then see a Conservative majority at the end of it. That would be truly disastrous.

So that's where I stand. If you can figure it out, let me know.