Friday, March 28, 2008

Stupid comment of the day

In response to this post, commenter Jonathan writes:

Only on a Liberal website would you find an advertisement for homosexual dates.

Un-fucking real.

Don't forget to wear a rubber.

Well. Where to start.

Quite apart from the fact that, yes, Mike and I are indeed quite gay, there are a few fun propositions here.

Let's do the simple ones first, before pointing out that Johnathon sort of missed the entire point (that I was making fun of the stupid "be free of homosexuality by embracing Jesus" thing.)

"Only on a Liberal website." First I'll assume that the capital L is deliberate. So there are no gay Tories? Right. And if he is just cro magnon and American and meant liberal, well, there are plenty of conservative gays out there.

"Advertisement for homosexual dates." Well well. Does that bug you? Too bad. You name the web site and I'll point out the hundreds of links to or or or whatever, all geared towards the breeders. (And if he thinks it was an actual personal ad, give me a break--Mah reading komprehenshun skillz, let me sho u them.)

But finally, and most importantly, it wasn't a freakin' ad for sex. It was a critique.

You see, if you click the link, you get to a web site for people who are trying to suppress being gay, and are being told that if they just pray hard enough, they'll turn into good little heteros and be "free" from being gay.

First: I don't feel particularly "un-free" for being gay. Nor does anyone I know that's well adjusted.

Second: It's false hope. Praying to the sky god isn't going to do anything, and even if it were, it would be treating the symptom and not the cause.. It would be suppressing something, not changing it.

Third: These things are the fast way to mental problems. The people who are religious enough to think Jesus can help them--and want to not be gay--are clearly coming from already repressive backgrounds. They don't want to be gay because they've been told it's a sin, they've been told it's icky and immoral and they'll go to hell. I.e. they're not coming from a tolerant place. And they're conflicted and tortured. And then they get told that yes, Jesus is right, you must stop being gay, it's a sin. It's a vicious circle of self-hate, religion, more self-hate, more religion, etc.

Fourth: It's incredibly damaging to young kids. When I was a kid I used to try to wish it away. I thought about hypnosis. I thought about medication. I thought about all sorts of things that I could make it go away. I once read, when I was 15, on a bathroom wall at Cinesphere (of all places) that "it's a fact that 25% of all men have homosexual thoughts for up to 3 years." And so I spent 3 years thinking, hey, I just have to wait it out.

And I think about how much happier I would have been in high school had I not believed in false hope (or believed it was bad or wrong or unnatural (and thank god I've never believed in god)) and accepted myself for who I am. 'Cos I'm pretty damn happy with it now.

The only people who have "success" with the ex-gay-through-Jesus moment are people who suppress it, who deep inside yearn for intimacy and love but feel that if they just love Jesus enough, they'll be okay. And yet every time they're around guys, they know what they want, and they have to pray that little bit more to control themselves.

And so, dumbass Johnathon, my point was that the whole city will be full of men desperately trying to be something other than who they are.

I have some pretty good-looking friends (Mike, for one, ain't bad on the eyes). And so the point of my suggestion was hey, let's go there, and make them all the more conflicted, and show the "pray away the gay" bullshit for what it really is: a joke.


Red Tory said...

Mike and Dean are gay... Who knew? Or cared for that matter? Sorry, but it never even occurred to me. At the risk of sounding too much like Stephen Colbert... I just don't see that sort of thing. It's tiresome that you even have to mention it. Really.

Johnathon said...

Why is it that gay people think they deserve attention?

I'm still waiting for a "stright" pride parade where I can piss all over the people watching while they squirt their piss back at me with those watter cannons.

And who knows, maybe the chief of police will attend the "parade".

I have no problem with you being a gearbox, but keep your unnatural behaviour to yourself.

After all, if the whole world was like Mike and "YOU", it would be all over.

Don't forget to wear that rubber, and also to ignore that "shitty" smell that is on it after your "session".

ALW said...

I wouldn't worry about folks like Johnathan. They obviously don't get out very much.

Dean P said...

Wow. What a thoughtful, intelligent posting there, Jonathon. Probably written right after he beat his wife and downed a 40.

And Red Tory has occasionally graced our pages? Awesome. His is one of the more thoughtful/smart Canadian blogs out there.

But a quick response, RT: I agree. Just had to throw it out there for cro-magnon boy in case he was wondering as to why there might be gay rights stuff on our little corner of the intertube.

Dean P said...

Oh ALW, we don't. To be perfectly frank, I kinda delight in inciting them. Of course, I feel safer that they're in their double-wides in some overgrown field in Arkansas and I'm in my office in Los Angeles . . .

Jim said...

I have no problem with you being gay...but ewwwwww, you're a lawyer!?!;)

Lizt. said...

What kind of an upbringing did Johnathon have? Does everyone have to be like him? My god, what a world we would have !

Dean P said...


Strangely, you're not the first person to say something like that.